Sunday, September 28, 2008

A Pumpkin Patch, A Corn Silo, And A Sliced Finger...

... Now you're asking yourself 'But Jenn, what do all three of those have in common?' Good question, I myself wouldn't have seen the connection either if I hadn't had to experience all three today.

We made the mistake of attempting family time again. I know, I know, why I haven't I learned my lesson? Doesn't something traumatic happen every time we try this? The answers would be: No, but I should and Yes, yes it does. I'll have to check the local fall recreation book and see if there's a 'Family time for Dummies' course offered in the evenings...
So Mr. Pretties and I (Most I) decided it would be a brilliant idea to take the pretties to a pumpkin patch on farm that also has all sorts of fun fall activities such as hay pyramids to jump in, a wagon ride to the pumpkin patch, a boo-barn, petting zoo, bouncing ball track, John Deer trike track, inflatable train relay, and an old silo full of yellow balls.

The farm likes to refer to these as 'corn'. (corn in a silo? Huh? A little Corny?) In theory this is a great idea. But, in theory I didn't imagine the inside of this old silo to be very musty, very hot, very dark, and very, very scary. No I didn't. BLP was horrified that I thought this was an acceptable thing to do. LLP was right in there, no questions asked. Honestly, she has no fear. 'What's that mommy, you want me to climb inside this dark tower and jump in these questionable yellow balls everyone keeps trying to tell me is corn? Sure thing!'
After BLP realized LLP wasn't about to be consumed by the corn monster she was all over it too. Who knew filling a musty old silo with yellow rubber balls could supply me with hours of endless entertainment? Who ever thought that one up is a genius. Clearly.
The afternoon progressed seamlessly. At this point I should have known we were about to experience the dropping of the other shoe. We had done the play area, the jumping ball track (you know those big balls with the handles that you sit on and jump? Yeah? Apparently I suck at doing that), the trike track, the wagon ride to the pumpkin patch, the corn maze (I'm all scraped up from the corn, btw) and the swings. We skipped the boo-barn, really no point in borrowing trouble. In fact I think we'd like to get into the lending trouble business, but we'll save that discussion for another post... So the sun was all shiny, the temperature was perfect, The Little Boy Person was a happy camper, and I remembered to bring my camera and an extra set of batteries! Yes! I took lots of pictures, like a mommy should. We even did those wooden boards with face holes cut out of them, I was a chicken and a horse. They didn't have a donkey so Mr. Pretties couldn't participate. Just kidding... sort of... So all was well with the world when the kids decided to hang out at the playground there. Sounds like the safest thing we did all afternoon, no? There was an old tractor in the playground (a real one) for kids to sit on and pretend to drive. My mommy instincts originally said 'What the... that might not be such a brilliant idea...' but before my brain could complete the thought (My thought processing factory is running a little slow) the BLP was sitting on it driving off into the imaginary corn fields. What's a mom to do? Well, apparently she's to grab her camera and take pictures (since she was already on it there was no point missing out on a cute picture opportunity c'mon!). I snapped a couple and then grabbed LLP to sit beside her to take their pictures together. BLP was having nothing to do with this duo picture situation and decided she was leaving. I believe the phrasing was 'Dats it! I'm weaving!' Whatever. As she was getting down she starting freaking out. Now you have to understand the BLP to understand why I wasn't immediately over there to see what was up. BLP freaks out about everything. Every. Single. Thing. As far as I knew she was upset that the sand was beige that day instead of white, it totally wouldn't have been uncommon for her. So I tell her she's fine and continue to snap LLPs picture on the tractor. BLP then comes over to me crying about a 'boo-boo' and shows me her thumb. Holy bleeding gash Batman! Blood does not bother me, in fact I enjoy playing doctor and bandaging gory 'boo-boos'. Seriously. But this was not pretty. It was a huge crescent shaped gash across her thumb. I immediately saw flashing images of us making out first trip to the hospital for stitches. Great. I grabbed the LBP's blanket and wrapped her thumb in it, applying pressure for the next 15 minutes. Partially to stop the bleeding, bigger partially because I didn't want to have to look at it again and make the important stitches decision. Maybe at this point you're asking 'But Jenn, why couldn't Mr. Pretties do that?' In response I would have to say 'Ahahahah ahahahha right...' As much as I don't 'do' anything poop related besides diapers (ie. poop body painting, no...) Mr. Pretties does not do important child decisions. At. All. I'm okay with that.
So after the gash incident BLP wanted to go back and play on the tractor (hello?!) I bandaged her finger with a band aid since it could do a better job applying pressure than I could, and let her go off for a half hour. I checked the boo-boo situation when we got home and it had stopped gushing blood, look like a nice clean cut with an excellent flap and decided it would be just fine without stitches. She's also up to date on her tetanus vaccine so we don't even have to visit that horror either! I almost feel like we cheated a potentially traumatic experience and I am SO thankful. BLP + Stitches + Tetanus Shot = Mommy sitting in a corner crying like a baby.

So what lesson did we learn today? If I think it's a great idea, it probably isn't. No more playing on old farm equipment, and if push comes to shove choose the boo-barn over old farm equipment to appease children.

PS: I am hating the cupcakes. Seriously. They make me want to gag everytime I open the page. I'll be changing this. Again. ERRR.

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