Thursday, October 2, 2008

Some Days There Are No Words...

...To describe being a parent. I don't mean in a 'it's so magical that I just cannot describe it' sort of way either. More of an 'They simply haven't invented a word bad enough to describe this feeling' kind of way. Don't get me wrong now, I adore my children. But whoever coined the phrase 'You may not always like your kids, but you'll always love them' was dead on. I'm not so much liking them right this second. Love 'em to death, like, not so much.


This all actually happened yesterday, but I couldn't blog about it because I was too busy going between cleaning up and trying to decide whether running away from home would just be easier. Then I remembered Mr. Pretties cannot dress the girls. They'd end up going to preschool in pink pants and orange and blue stripped shirts. Not to mention he probably wouldn't even remember to brush their hair, let alone haul out the corkered ribbons 45 seconds before going out the door and assembling an amazing hair clippie work of art in record time. What kind of life would they have without me? I just couldn't allow them to find out, it would be too horrific. Clearly.
I believe their personal agendas were like so (please keep in mind I was either in the bathroom, in the laundry room, or, in one instance with marker, sitting right beside them - I should've been concerned with their quietness...):
1. Give Cookie Monster a bath. In the bathroom sink. Which will over flow, dripping excessive water into the basement. - Check
2. Scale the gate to the kitchen, the one into Mommy's bedroom, climb onto tall dresser, obtain very sticky bum cream. - Check

3. Climb onto long dresser, apply bum cream liberally to entire mirror, wall, and stereo surfaces.- Check

4. Climb onto couch, then onto cabinet, then onto mantel and retrieve forbidden markers out of hard to open container. - Check
5. Proceeed to colour eachother orange in our entirety.- Check, and Check (there are two of them)

6. Hear Mommy say she's going to bath us, try to help out by putting LLP in bathroom sink and washing her, overflowing said sink and dripping water into basement. Again. - Check

7. Scream like a vicious raccoon while getting orange marker washed out of hair. Make sure the neighbours are a little concerned. - Check

8. Scale kitchen baby gate. Again. Climb onto counter. - Double Check

9. Remove all tupperware, sippy cups, and steak knives from said cupboard.- Check
10. Try to pour ourselves some milk from the pitcher. I'm sure we can handle it! - Check

11. Poor said milk all over clean kitchen floor that's no longer so clean. Make sure it's the last bag (I am Canadian, my milk comes in a bag) - Check

12. Remove all DVDs from cabinet, and then remove them from the cases.- Check
13. Throw all small toys into toilet, along with soap. Right after pooping in potty - Check

MmmHmm.... A days work well done. For them. I mostly wanted to ground myself to my room. And stay there. Forever. Or, atleast until they move out.
Who is this child and where is her mommy???

(This is right after bath time, thus, no clothing)
This is LLP at Pre-PreSchool, she's not always bad...


  1. Oh I feel your pain...One day my b/f got out of the shower only to hear "Daddy the powders not working?" as he approched the bedroom he got a whif of powder and then realized that he (our son) had emptied a tub of baby powder all over his room and was trying to get another tub opened....that was fun to clean up..and oh so yummy in the lungs!!!

  2. OMG! I feel your pain. My kids do this kind of stuff to me all the time.
    We live in a rental and he colored blue permanent marker on the walls and carpet, smeared an entire tube of lip gloss everywhere in his sister's room and all over himself.

    Gotta love kids!!

  3. Ahhhh, blogged for the world to see :o)

    I hope your week got better!


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