Thursday, September 18, 2008

I Digress...

Remember that big bag of 'I Told You So', it's friend the bag of 'You're Going To Regret This', and, let's not forget, the ever smaller but equally significant bag of 'You Suck'? Yes? Excellent.

Let me tell you a little story.

Once upon a time... there was a man named Mr. Pretties. Mr. Pretties tried so hard at everything he did, but no matter how hard he tried to make it work it always blew up in his face...It became a sort of joke between him and Mrs. Pretties... And....


(This is not Mr. Pretties, but there will be one, not to worry)

I'm happy to annouce the Buick will be layed to rest this weekend. After unearthing yet another amazing animal immitation that would cost $400 to repair and make the Buick driveable yesterday, Mr. Pretties finally saw the light and he performed the ancient 'removing-of-the-plates' ceremony, followed by the ever important 'phoning-the-insurance-company-and-having-the-insurance-transferred-to-the-NEW-vehicle' ceremony. We cleaned out the trunk. We cleaned out the glove box. We brought out the sledge hamm... er... no we didn't. We were going to. Until I received an email lastnight letting me know that someone wanted to buy the Buick. For $500. I said no thanks. NOT. Someone wants to pay me to make take the Buick away? Giddy up!

I kid you not, I went ahead and posted the 'For Sale: Buick' ad on Kijiji just for shits and giggles. I posted it exactly as I did here, infact, I may have made it sound worse just to be totally upfront and honest that this car is crap, not to be confused with something that's not crap. When I received this email I could not type the words 'It's yours!' fast enough. Infact... now that I think about it, I may have actually type 'Tits hours'... rriigghhttt... let's hope not, and if I did, hypothetically, type that, let's hope he speaks the lingo and knows I meant he could have the car... MmmKay? It's new owner is supposed to come this weekend to haul it far, far away.

Now, let's just say this deal falls through (even though we all know nothing ever falls through on Kijiji...), then we will definitely be breaking out the hammer before we have it towed to go to the big parking lot in the sky.

Good God, I hope the Big Parking Lot in The Sky doesn't work anything like the Rainbow Bridge... I will be seriously unhappy if, when I die, after I finish collecting my personal Noah's Ark at the Rainbow Bridge, I then have to make a pit stop at the Parking Lot In The Sky to claim the Buick... Oh no, that is just too awful for consideration, let's just stop talking about that right now...

***Have I ever told you guys that I love comments? Perhaps I haven't been adament about this... I really, really love getting comments. It lets me know people are out there and are reading (Other than my ticker, but that could be one repeat reader...) and to keep blogging. If I feel like I'm entertaining someone I'll try harder to post more and be funnier ;) So. If you read the blog, send a comment and let me know!***

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for commenting! This way I know someone is reading this craziness!


Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin